These are newly discovered fragments from Castle Chaos: A Topographical Mapping and History, which was written by Professor Ixodid Ataxia, a Minor Demon of Cartography employed by Multiverse, Inc.
(pur)…pose of this history is to outline the origination, development, and eventual cosmic cleansing of the outlaw race of Gods, the Chaos Lords, and their followers and creatures. As any good pupil in Demon Academy should know, the Chaos Lords, who contributed greatly to the work on the early Creation, in later years fell prey to their arrogance and rebelled against the wise reform of Our Glorious Leader, may His name be praised a trillion times!
Under the leadership of the Goddess Eris, their island of Dementia was turned from a fun-loving holiday location to a hub of subversion and dissidence. They insisted on archaic methods such as direct manifestation, and refused Greyface the Generous’ entreaties to work toward giving permanence to the Cycle of Ages, claiming instead that it had to be broken.
The Chaos Lords refused to come to the negotiating table, preferring to act directly against the Great One, and the budding institutions of Multiverse Inc. In their crazed efforts to halt the long overdue imposition of order and rationality upon the Multiverse, they had used forms of protest redundant in a civilised multi-dimensional society, depriving themselves of their divine rights. They had overstepped the bounds, and their actions threatened to destroy the fabric of Multiverse society.
Even Greyface, may He be revered by all, could not countenance their activities to continue, despite His Boundless Patience, Mercy and Tolerance. With a heavy heart, The Supreme Chief Executive banned all of the decadent activities of the Chaos Lords: their incomparable laziness; the sabotaging of the smooth running of Multiverse institutions; the turning of every symbol of authority and order to derision, which they called satire; the refusal to take anything seriously; the gratuitous pulling of pranks and damage to private property; the total lack of interest in material gain or profit; the wearing of face paint; direct manifestation: All these activities threatened the orderly progress of Multiverse Inc. through the Cycle of Ages (1), and toward ‘Increased Profit Margins’. Most wicked and heretical.
He declared the belief of the Chaos Lords that…
… the Tower of Chaos that once rose high above the massive Wing of G’thar that itself was only one of the Five Wings of Chaos that, along with the centre palace and the various bungalows, pools, atriums, courtyards, gardens, and firepits, collectively made up what was once known as Castle Chaos.
The ruins sit west-of-centre on the fabled Isle of Dementia, itself a ruined version of what was once the most happening Island (2) in all the Multiverse. What were once the vast gardens and orchards of the castle back onto the river Ananda, which has its source in the central peaks of the Barry Chain. (3) From there it waterfalls down the mountains, ’til it reaches the plains, and the Wild-Wild Woods, where it meanders slowly to the G’zul Delta. From its mouth and the windswept port of Dementia, vast fleets set off Eastwards through the mists to the other paradisaical islands of legend, Avallone and Atlante, and to the lands of Men, and Westwards to the shores of the Elysian Fields, and even to Eden…
When considering Castle Chaos it is important to understand the very special place it occupied in the Genesis of the Multiverse, and in its evolution through the Cycle of Ages. To call it simply ‘The Party at the End of Ages’ as some scholars have, is woefully simplistic. It is well known, for example, that Castle Chaos was also the party at the start of the Universe.
Of course, historical records from that period are utterly non-existent, and any Gods present in that period – the Aeons after the One may or may not have made the Gods, and they may or may not have started building forms out of the Primal Ooze of ever-changing Chaos – are dead, forgotten, in hiding, or generally not returning anyone’s calls. It is commonly assumed Castle Chaos was the home of the Primal Chaos Gods…
…be forgotten that… Castle Chaos was a happy, carefree place. Indeed, if it is spoken of fondly by certain more ancient Immortals, it is because it was a sort of holiday camp for the Multiverse, much like in function to the place Earth humans call Disney World. Sadly, as we have seen, it descended into corruption… Such splendour will without a doubt be restored to all Multiverse citizens, as detailed in Multiverse Inc.’s business plan,(4) as soon as the shareholders attain ‘Permanently Increasing Margins of Profit’ levels, permitting the necessary infrastructure work to be completed on schedule for the opening of the long awaited Paradise Inc. Until then, profits must evidently be retained in the competent hands of the shareholders, so that more profits can be generated, while wealth is allowed to trickle down naturally to the poorest amongst the…
Now utterly lost, and unseen by any since the Flood… REDACTED… legend the Isle of Dementia was grown out the Ooze, or grew out of it, ’til it was effectively a very small continent battered by the seas of endless potentiality, a solid (5) dot in the ocean of Psyche (6). All records of this and subsequent periods are lost, and remain only in the oral tradition of those tribes of beings most reticent to employment by Multiverse Inc. However, from some of the material compiled in the Erisian age, we can guess at some of the spacio-temporal anomalies, which were at the heart of Dementia’s dimensional locality matrix. First of all, in tune with the Multiverse, the history of Dementia is cyclical. The catastrophic event described as the Fall, was only one of a great number of falls, as generations of Chaos Lords perished or were forgotten in the vale of the Cycle of Ages. The Fall’s iconic status stems from it being the best remembered, since most recent. Yet at the end of every age, of every world, Castle Chaos was the place where the whole of creation came to party, compare their karma, swap anecdotes pertaining to their various incarnations, and by and large get mashed till the wheel started turning once more. Here, was celebrated the end of every cycle by all that had participated in it.
There is nevertheless an anomaly, which has attracted much speculation. Some theorists maintain that space and time, already relatively wobbly whenever the Castle was concerned, seemed to break down utterly in those peak periods. In effect they claim that Castle Chaos, at the absolute pinnacle of any Age of Chaos was effectively outside Multiversal Space-time. The evidence often quoted for these assertions is what some, but most prominently Evergor Ixolas (7), the well-known anti-cyclist and cosmological evolutionist, claim is the remainder of a seating-arrangement document, from which they extrapolate a guest list for the party which corresponded to that moment in the Erisian Unrule. They move on to claim that since said list contained the names of entities relating to a multitude of different past or future ages, some fictional, and from every corner of the Multiverse, as well as some who do not even appear in Multiverse records or the Great Book of Fate, it is logical to maintain that the free-party with which the inhabitants of Castle Chaos celebrate the Apex of every Age of Chaos is actually located at some central, or ultimate spot beyond, or outside the cycle of ages. Ixolas does not shy from supporting this view, which not only flies in the face of all modern research, but is also contradicted by the terms of our contract with Multiverse Inc.
Ixolas even goes so far as to claim Castle Chaos taps into some ill-defined ultimate and endless party. He supports this wild assertion by quoting the memoirs of Marvin the Robot, waiter in Castle Chaos, who stated his utter irritation at a small black-frocked man, who spent most of his time shouting excitedly about this being “the Omega Point”. (8) What this could have to do with anything is anyone’s guess. It should be apparent to any rational reader that Ixolas is in over his horns, and a total…
It is hard for us to perceive the vast amount of power that went into the creation of the island and the Castle. It is widely assumed that Eris herself created both of these in their current form, but we cannot know for sure. It is likely that after the Fall, the land itself, once an able prankster in its own right, froze in mourning for its Goddess and her children, thereby preserving at least the layout of the Castle and its ruins.
When the topography of Dementia is studied, it seems to have been well thought out and well planned, with an eye for beauty and joyful celebration – except for a few mind-blowing features that were surely the products of either a deranged mind or the Goddess of Chaos Herself.
An example of this is the presence of assorted pockets of coc’hien flue randomly placed about the island. Some may even be found within the castle ruins themselves. They change location at random, some staying in place for hours, some for weeks. Some have been know to creep up on people, and jump them unawares. In the dark parts of the Isle, the Wild-Wild Wood once so fair, the flue hunts in packs, tracking down any intruder.
These flues, or currents of air, carry upon them the rankest odour imaginable, and yet if one studies the journals of frequent visitors to the island when it was in its heyday, a different odour is conveyed:
Me (9), Raven and Wak (10) used to go out and look for these Chaos Areas that were better than any cactus juice or pineal nectar – they would get you so messed up that you didn’t know your name, or what shape you were.
You could tell when you were coming upon one by the faint smell of juniper and peppermint that hung in the air. As you walked into it, the smell would get stronger and sweeter until you started to lose your mind, and your footing. You’d rise up about three feet into the air and start, I don’t know, rotating, as thoughts began to get incoherent, and sounds took on new meanings… subtle hues of bright colour. You would… I don’t know… “melt” into the smell. Become the smell.
It’s hard to describe, but it was the most wonderful feeling… (11)
From this and other, similar descriptions, we know that the flues were present before the Fall, but it appears that they too are in ruins. A current observation of the flues should illustrate just how much Dementia, and thus Castle Chaos, has changed:
As we walked forward, the horrible odour began to grow stronger. We grew pale as our limbs became heavy and tears started to pour from our eyes. I remember Ernesto, drawing his lips, and starting to foam at the mouth as a red film descended upon our vision. Soon, we were overcome by a madness that we could not control. I throttled the guide as he clawed for my throat, unseeing.
When I awoke the next morning, the smell had gone, and here was I, surrounded by bloody corpses. This was all that was left of my team. It took me 3 weeks to resurrect them all. (12)
No one talks much about what Castle Chaos was like – it seems too painful for any of the Gods that used to party there to revisit memories of its splendor.
When Pan was asked, shortly before his disappearance, to tell of his adventures at the Castle, he merely buggered the researcher. To be fair, few of the Gods of that period are available for comment. Few were the “go-getters” a modern Multiverse needs, and they adapted poorly to their new roles. Consequently, many were made redundant or downsized, and languish forgotten as shades of a thankfully bygone era. Quite a number rebelled, and were either preventively terminated, or put through re-education, sadly without the success that was hoped for…
We do know from the few existing writings and fables passed down through the ages that Castle Chaos was as wild as one would expect, with the kind of Gods and Demons who frequented it. The Castle itself played no small role in this:
Doors would disappear, walls would move, decorations would change… all at random. You would be in the middle of drinking yourself into oblivion on Wooftie Juice and all of the sudden you were called on to scramble or risk being crushed by a moving wall. (13)
The method that was used to achieve this random rearrangement of rooms is indiscernible from the ruins that remain. It has been postulated that the walls, in fact, never moved and that chemicals were released at random throughout Castle Chaos that affected the mind in such a way as to cause hallucinations of instability, but this hypothesis is, for the most part, not taken seriously.
1. It is important that the reader does not enter into confusions about the ‘Cycle of Ages’ Professor Ataxia is referring to. This is not related to the cycle of five ages outlined in “Illuminatus!” by Robert Anton Wilson, Robert Shea, (1975) in Appendix GIMMEL: The Illuminati Theory of History. Demons, some of whom at least are immortals, have a longer view on things. Though they have their own legends, the Demons mostly use the Multiverse Inc. notion of an endless Cycle of Ages, in which unproductive ideas and races are destroyed or perish, to be replaced by other more successful races, or ‘more competitive work-forces’ to use the acceptable jargon of today. We don’t have much else because Demons are bastards, but according to this theory of time we, on this planet and at this time, are in the Age of Men. Please try not to think about the fact that this time and place in our material world is not much of a reference point, since by all accounts the Multiverse contains an infinite number of alternate Earths, countless dimensions, more than its fair share of Imaginal and Fictional realms, and more ways of writing about cycles of ages than all the above put together (Editors’ note).
2. Possibly ‘island’ is entirely the wrong word, and there are very few languages with a word for morphing landmasses. As far as we know, no registered creature left in the Multiverse still speaks the secret language of the Chaos Lords, with the possible exception of that harmless buffoon, Eric, erstwhile God of Perplexity and Panicking, a pallid imitation of his deadly and terrible sister Eris.
In the early days of Castle Chaos, ‘continent’ might have been more appropriate, though as the powers of the Chaos Lords waned as they turned to evil, so their land shrunk to an isle, and its form was increasingly solid, and more fell and dreadful to behold.
3. As we know from ancient songs still sung by some of the Satyr folk, these mountains were named after Eris and Eric’s uncle Barry, who was one of the Primal Chaos Lords. He’d never quite found his place in the family unit, or in the Rampaging Chaos business, having developed an inferiority complex due to the mismatch between his appearance and his name. He always felt it was unfair everyone else in his generation of Godlings had been named imposingly: G’zul, Brakaraksh, Burzegor, Thraagg. His story was a tragic tale of teenage rebellion, zits, and fanatical normality. Which is enormously difficult, when one is a forty-foot, goat-headed, incandescent-eyed, braying beastman enveloped in a halo of towering flames. A plight with which can sympathise many, amongst us demons. Because of the sadness of his tale and its ending, and most of all for the love they bore him, the denizen of Castle Chaos, a few centuries or so after it rose from the ooze of Primeval Chaos, named the mountains in his honour. It remained one of the favoured places where the inhabitants of Dementia went to be alone, and reflect. From the high crags you could see the sea, and sing the sun into the heavens.
5. Well sort of, anyway. Solid insofar as it changed shape, elevation and coastline with almost suicidal randomness. Mainly due to the short attention span and almost pathological aversion to boredom displayed by its inhabitants, few features of the Isle of Dementia remained static for very long, especially in the early days. In fact, this process was even more apparent in the flora and fauna of Dementia, which in the first centuries of its existence, seemingly underwent a concentrate of all possible evolutionary paths, fast-forward at breakneck speed, a developmental history hinted at by Theobald Ignotius Demeterium, Minor Demon of Cataloguing & Lists, in his Flora and Fauna of the Isle of Dementia. By the Twilight Years of the Castle, namely the Unruliness of Eris and Eric, the topography of Dementia had to a large extent stabilised, the chaotic nature of the place being transferred to architecture, gardening, and forms of behaviour or thought.
6. Here Ataxia is using, we suppose for convenience and ease of explanation, the human divisions between the Realms of Pneuma (or spirit), Psyche (or soul), and the Multiverse of matter. As everyone knows, the Isle of Dementia is in the Imaginal Realms, and therefore firmly located in the mind of the Multiverse, or Nooverse (Editors’ note).
8. Not surprising according to one piece of Lore we have cherished, handing it down from librarian to librarian through the generations. Its source is one Thamus, an Egyptian sailor who finished his days holding a tavern opposite the great library of Alexandria. He was part of the Order, and his last journey was to Arcadia where it is said he was met by an ancient Satyr who handed him the Codex, with the words “The form of Castle Chaos is born in its visitor’s eye.” We assume this to signify that reality, at least for most of the visitors to Castle Chaos, appears very much as they expect it to (Editors’ note).