The Sacred Order of O.D.D.


Tales of Eric
   About
   Prelude
   Appendix
     I (Intro Letter)
     I (Excerpts: Castle Chaos)
     II (Multiverse Business Plan)

The Howling Trickster
   About
   Translator Notes
   Translations
     #12829 (Introduction)
     #6093 (Oracles)



Fragment #12829(1)


My good friend Raven (who is often mistaken for me and vice-versa) found out that I was publishing these and after several attempts to maim or kill me, asked me why I was doing it. Well, let me state right up front that these journals were compiled and published for one reason and one reason only: Miracle Hours(2). That's it. I have no high-minded purpose here. I just want the money.

Since these were all, for the most part, already written when the Demon of Multi-History inquired after ancient papers, I figured it would help me to make a quick score.

I cannot stop laughing long enough to apologize to all of my friends, who will be deeply hurt and embarrassed by some of the stories I have to tell. It cannot be helped. Those who do stupid things under Coyote's watchful eye deserve as they get as long as Coyote is willing to pay the inevitable price, which I most definitely am for a chance to embarrass each and every one of them all at once.

Much will be made of the language I choose to produce these in. Admittedly, in the old stories that currently still exist(3), I sound nothing like this within them. I sound like that only in their country. In my country, I am chief and sound like this. As you will also see, many of the tales themselves were outright lies formulated by beings without medicine who were only interested in their wealth and popularity. Much like me.

But that isn't really true. When one is an amoral trickster, even through the bad times life is good. Perhaps some would not agree with me, especially a certain friend who spends quite a lot of time in Limbo(4), but it is of no matter. I enjoy life and I enjoy crafting ingenious methods to shock and astound those beings that are willing to pay me any attention whatsoever.

The title of these papers is meant to be read with tongue in cheek, as I am not in fact an archetype (as is evidenced by the fact that I am writing this) but a Real Being. The reduction of me and my friends to an archetype by many advanced societies is a source of much amusement to us and we go out of our way to entertain psychiatrists and such when we run across them. Our favorite one to pick on is Mr. Jung. Whenever we see him we walk up on our tip-toes as if he could not see us and whispering commands into his ears. He thought it was funny at first, but he does not find as much amusement in it as we do anymore.

Due to the curious way time seems to bend here in the multiverse, and my comings and goings within it, I am unsure in many places throughout these notes what happened first - in my life, in the Multiverse Official Timeline(tm), or in other people's lives once I start going off on a tangent, which I promise to do constantly throughout these papers.

To remedy this, I have grouped my writings into loose sections called "Books" that revolve around common themes and elements drawn from my history. For example, Book Seven is entirely about my actions in and stories from America of Earth 43, one of my favorite and most successful gigs of all time, regardless of when they happened (for I still visit that time and place often). It was there that I got to work closely with many of my friends, especially Raven.

This preface threatens to run long, as the journals themselves obviously do, since they chronicle an eternity. My patience medicine is not my best medicine, and these journals were written over a long span of years. For that reason, I contradict myself many times throughout, for I change my mind like an expensive Innubrian(5) whore changes her panties, and I reserve this right for myself as I do not feel like going back and changing everything.

The same holds true for Reality in general, of course. I suspect that just as there are alternate worlds for the lesser beings, there are alternate multiverses for those of us that are higher up and I am almost sure that I crossed the boundaries of them a couple times. This is not the same place it was when I got here. Perhaps it was Castle Chaos that did it, or perhaps it was the peyote... I cannot know for sure. What I do know is that these documents are completely true, with no lies or embellishments at all.(6)




Annotations


1. From the tone of this fragment, it sounds as if we were lucky enough to stumble upon the last page of Coyote’s introduction to the journal.



2. Miracle hours are the currency through which the multiverse works. Many humans may be surprised that the Gods are not more advanced than this, and suspect that Supreme Beings would be beyond the concept of currency. This is a very naïve reaction. As will be seen by Coyote’s Lost Oracle in later fragments, everything on Earth (with several notable exceptions) is an echo of something else somewhere in the multiverse. Earth currency is an echo of Miracle Hours.

An interesting note here is that Coyote did not earn as many Miracle Hours as he should have for such a masterpiece of slanderous gossip, ludicrous half-truths, and outright lies. When the Journal was finished, it was confiscated by Multiverse, Inc. security forces and encrypted (see Translator’s Notes).

Since it was never published, the owner of the copyright on this work is at this point undetermined. The translation and annotations are, of course, Kopylefted. You should be aware, however, that if Multiverse, Inc. does end up with the ownership of the Journal, you may in fact owe them everything you have up to and including your eternal soul in retribution for using their copyrighted work without permission.



3. Throughout the Journal, Coyote will be speaking of how his “worshippers” perceive him. Here on Earth, his “followers” were primarily North American Natives such as the Crow and the Hopi tribes. Please remember, however, that they were only a very small subset of Coyote’s followers. The gods and demons must serve ALL of the iterations of ALL of the planets in ALL of the universes that have living, thinking beings. Thus, Coyote’s devoted followers consist not of hundreds of thousands, but instead hundreds of millions. This is why gods usually don’t answer prayers. What would YOU do if you got five million pieces of mail a day?



4. Here Coyote is probably referring to Eric, brother of Eris, who holds the multiverse record for objective time spent in Limbo (59,823,392 hours at time footnote was written). He could also be referring to Monkey King (also known as Sun Wu-Kong), who runs a close second.



5. Coyote refers to many proper nouns in the Journal. Most of them will be unfamiliar to readers here on Earth, though some (such as the reference to Carl Jung) refer to life on this planet or an alternate one that is very similar.

Innubria is probably a city on another planet much like Paris, judging from the context with which it is used. I have never read or heard of “Innubrian” in my studies.



6. I suspect that this was meant as an ironic joke.