The Sacred Order of O.D.D.


Tales of Eric
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     I (Intro Letter)
     I (Excerpts: Castle Chaos)
     II (Multiverse Business Plan)

The Howling Trickster
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     #12829 (Introduction)
     #6093 (Oracles)



Fragment #6093


...began arguing again.

Eshu declared that his Ifá Oracle (1) was superior because there were more possible results associated with it then any other oracle system. (2) But Hermes pointed out that Eshu had only made up 256 of them and merely stole the rest from Wisdom of the Multiverse (3) after the Ifá had gone into widespread use.

Hermes went on to declare that HIS oracle was better because he did not use pine nuts, but instead "hot broads covered in honey".

Well, as they all fought about it, I ran my thoughts about Echoes (4) back through my mind and started to piece together my own divination system in my head.

It was obvious to me that only the most complicated system I could devise would have a chance to trump their accomplishments in this field. It had to have some sort of connection to reality, but also needed to be strongly ruled by chance. Not only that, but it should steal at least one important element from each of THEIR oracles, so that they will recognize themselves in my oracle, and so like it better than the others.

Being more of a coyote than a philosopher, this is as far as I could get as they stood there beside me screaming at each other and wasting Miracle Seconds changing each other into dreambones (6), goblins, and Howdy Doody Dolls (7).

"Hey, guys," I said. "What about MY oracle? Mine blows all of yours away."

Eshu looked over and dismissed my comment with a wave. "Ahhh, you don’t have an oracle."

"I do so!" I growled. "It is the BEST oracle!"

"What is its name?" Hermes asked, curious.

"It is called... Coyote’s Oracle." There was a moment of silence as I let them digest this before continuing.

"It is like a Tarot, but a bit like a Ching and also a little like chess."

"It is not. You’re making this up," Raven said.

"I am not. Many people use it, and it is always right."

"Show us."

Hermes was always the sane one. It was then that I called on my Miracle Hours and plunged into an explanation that was totally made up, right on the spot.

"What you need to do is pick up a stick, some rice, a palm leaf, an apple blossom, a pine nut and a palm leaf. Throw them down on the ground and yell out the name of a Xore (8). Depending on the spread of the stick, rice, palm leaf, apple blossom, pine nut and palm leaf, you may also need a 2x4..."




Annotations


1. In this line, Coyote also communicates that he doesn’t like Eshu, felt that Eshu was a one-trick pony, and constantly refers to him as "Penis-head" because of his hairdo. Apparently, Eshu reused his precious Ifá oracle in every single location he was worshipped. In fact, it was presented to his Yoruban followers here on this Earth by Eshu’s incarnation named Orishala. There has been suggestions in other documents about Castle Chaos that Coyote masturbated into Eshu’s opon igere when Eshu had imbibed too much oti to notice, and ever since then the Ifá oracle has been no more valuable than fortune cookie messages.



2. In this reality, there are over 1,600 sayings associated with an Ifá divination.



3. Wisdom of the Multiverse; Multiverse Press, Inc.



4. Echoes are reverberations of archetypes throughout the Multiverse. Castle Chaos, for instance, is the pure source from which Las Vegas is created as an echo (5). There are many instances of this echo effect throughout the cosmos, because the Multiverse does not like to strain itself by being original.



5. Of course, with its commercialization, Las Vegas is an echo of Castle Chaos with a high degree of order imposed on it. The problem with echoes, however, is that the true source always tends to shine through. If Las Vegas continues on the way is has, do not be surprised to hear reports of the Loch Ness Monster swimming in the Venitian's canals, Madame Tussaud’s waxworks coming to life, and reports of mummies invading the Luxor.



6. Dreambones are the source of all dreams of all beings in the multiverse. They are all located in the barren Caulry universe and have some sort of psychic connection to their claimant, who pick their bone the first time they sleep. Beings that do not sleep do not claim a Dreambone and are often relegated to imagining things themselves instead of receiving the stories and images straight to their brain (which then modifies them to suit the individual). Little else is known about these Dreambones, but it has been suggested that Coyote had found his and carried it with him always. It is not known why Eshu and Hermes would choose this to change each other into, and I assume Coyote just made it up.



7. Our Howdy Doody is an echo of the Britharian Howdy Doody, who has sixteen tentacles and fourteen buggily eyes. It does have freckles, though.



8. A Xore is the formal name of an echo’s source. In the example given in footnote 4, Castle Chaos is a Xore.