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Appendix II
Multiverse Business Plan (Public Copy)(1)
We are Multiverse, Inc.—The Business Behind Reality. Providing miracles for more than 28 million worlds Multiverse-wide, delivering unique deity solutions for over a billion different species and races, and managing 83 trillion spiritual transactions annually.
MULTIVERSE, Inc.
History
Over 50 million octri-years(2) ago, Multiverse, Inc. began with a business model that remains sound today – providing transaction-based information processing and other services that are mission-critical to a client's species’ spiritual life and well-being. Since virtually all of the spiritual transactions we perform are repetitive in nature, they also generate reliable and predictable streams of revenue.
Multiverse, Inc. provides many important services to clients. In octri-year 571,232, we spent over 30 billion demon-hours processing an average of over 1.3 million daily trades on the major miracle-hour exchanges; empowered 1,600,000 formerly unemployed immortal beings with profit-making business solutions; and helped several hundred thousand old ladies cross the street. The fundamental economic principle is one and the same across all Multiverse, Inc. Departments: Every client and their species is a valuable source of recurring revenue.
Our business model has performed well throughout virtually every economic cycle over the past five millennia. The inherent strength of the outsourcing trend and the predictability of our recurring revenue enabled us to avoid many of the difficulties experienced by other divine corporations and become your number one spiritual provider.
MULTIVERSE, Inc.
Employer of Choice Initiative
Multiverse, Inc. aims to be the Employer of Choice for those seeking a career in any divine industry. We seek to attract, retain and develop an outstanding group of client-focused divinitemps who wish to have fulfilling careers with the industry leader. Our objective is to develop divinitemps who are internal and external ambassadors for Multiverse, Inc.
Divinitemps that join us for the journey will find:
- Opportunities for personal growth and development that allow divinitemps to both excel and make a real difference throughout their immortal career.
- A meritocracy, with emphasis on performance.
- Equal opportunities for Goddesses and Shit Demons.
- A collaborative environment where everyone contributes and succeeds together- with motivated and intelligent colleagues who share common values, goals and work ethic.
- A culture that supports the view that divinitemps are trusted, valued and empowered and creates ever-increasing divinitemps satisfaction levels.
- The development of programs and policies that are positive drivers of divinitemps satisfaction and rigorous elimination of negatives (i.e. “Bad Apples”) using our own industry-leading SWAT teams.
MULTIVERSE, Inc.
Operating Principles
As a supplement to our Corporate Philosophy(3), we have evolved a number of operating principles. While they are not cast in stone, we feel that the following principles are critical to our ongoing success (but are still subject to change at any time):
Innovation - Selectivity and Focus: New ideas and products are exciting. We need a continuing array of new ideas, and must recognize and reward the divinitemps who produce them. At the same time, it takes focus and self-restraint to maintain the discipline of thinking and researching very broadly, while implementing more narrowly. Many organizations tend to pursue more projects than they can effectively handle. We must balance reward and distraction. Nonetheless, we will try more new directions than we need in order to leave room for the inevitable disappointments. And since major new projects or directions are especially difficult and uncertain, we must focus our best associates on these newer opportunities, as full-time champions.
Business Plans: Good plans help maintain consistent growth with fewer surprises. The specific objectives, priorities, strategies and processes in a plan should be initially guided by tier-2 senior management, and then be directly created in more detail by each manager who must ultimately own responsibility for the results. The planning processes should be interactive and responsive to differing views.
Role Before We Roll: Since many new ventures will fail, we will generally try to minimize the cost of failure to a manageable level by not acting on an unnecessarily large scale too soon. Changes that involve many clients and divinitemps are particularly difficult and error-prone. As we change processes and automate labor, we must minimize the risk of a poor transition. We should role-model new approaches before we roll them to many locations, clients or divinitemps, without forfeiting windows of opportunity that require fast time-to-market.
MULTIVERSE Inc.
Megacosm-Class Service
Megacosm-Class Service is unlike other strategic business goals. Measured neither in time nor distance, it is a continuous journey that perpetually resets the high bar of service levels reflecting the ever-increasing demands and expectations of the marketplace.
Multiverse Inc.’s commitment to Megacosm-Class Service has become an intrinsic part of our business culture. We view the ongoing commitment of resources to increasingly higher levels of service not simply as an out-of-pouch expense, but as a discerning, long-term investment. For us, Megacosm-Class Service is paramount. Really.
Two of the key metrics that help us measure the success of our commitment to Megacosm-Class Service are client satisfaction scores and client retention rates. Both measures continue to trend upward in our business to record levels.
While our investment in tools, processing, training, and staffing – well over 100 million miracle-hours during the past several Octri-years – makes Megacosm-Class Service possible, our divinitemps make Megacosm-Class Service happen. They personify our commitment to this critical business concept and bring it alive through the service offerings they provide and the clients they serve each and every day. As our divinitemps succeed, so does Multiverse Inc.
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Annotations
1. Although Multiverse, Inc. has as many different and conflicting business plans as it does departments, this is the only one available to the public (and most of its employees, as far as we can discern).
2. Octri-years are part of a dating system being pushed by Multiverse, Inc. and Greyface. Due to the complexity of time management when dealing with Immortal Beings who may effectively stop or move back-and-forth within time, a standard dating system has never been adopted and was regarded as unnecessary- until Multiverse, Inc. wanted to publish their earnings and realized they had no fiscal year with which to do so. A Octri-year is defined as a period of time within which it takes Multiverse, Inc. to manage 83 trillion spiritual transactions.
3. The Multiverse Corporate Philosophy has been rated AU by the Secret Business Bureau and may only be viewed by Level 58s and up.
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